Speaking to the Middle District of Pennsylvania Bankruptcy Bar Association.
I was speaking at an event recently and mentioned that too many people give bad advice regarding public speaking. Not only bad. Contradictory.
I used the hands example: “How many of you have been told “talk more with your hands” and then, “use your hands less when you speak”? There was much nodding in my audience, and some audible agreement. The fact is, how much you express with your hands when you speak is specific to you, as an individual, as well as to your speaking context.
Pointing our someone’s over- or under-use of their hands is not at all helpful. It can only make the speaker self-conscious. If someone is a naturally reticent speaker, having them slap on some big gestures will not only look false, it will make the speaker feel silly at best, destabilized at worst.
Likewise, telling an exuberant speaker to tone down their hands takes away some of their energy, sometimes making them looks stiff or tamping down their expressiveness.
This was made clear in a very humorous way by my current favorite political Instagrammer, Mayor Zohran Mamdani of New York. Last year when he was running for mayor, some of his staff (who themselves must have gotten old, bad advice) thought he should tone down his gestures. He made a few videos trying to do that – but couldn’t make it stick. His natural energy could not be curbed. But the voters liked his very big energy! So that bit of sage “political wisdom” went in the trash.
The fact is, we all have our own innate energy to work with as speakers. Some of us need to amp it up for specific speeches. Others can do a little less. But to communicate dynamically, to connect with listeners, we should always start by exploring where our energy is, and how we engage with our topic. Build the message delivery from there. So much better than adding gratuitous gestures/reining in enthusiasm after the fact. Because even if “someone" thinks “that’s what good speakers do,” they don’t.
