As I gear down and get ready to enjoy a relaxing vacation, I thought I'd take a page from the advice column playbook and share a blog from my archives. This is an updated version of a blog I wrote on December 9, 2011. I am still giving this advice, so I know the probelm has not gone away. If anything, it seems to have gotten worse...
In An Actor Prepares, Constantin Stanislavsky (the father of modern acting) demanded that actors - to truly be good at their craft - "cut 90 per cent."
Of course I drill this into the heads of my acting students. And I offer similar advice to my speaking clients. As content experts, we often have the urge to tell everything we know about our subject, assuming the world is as interested in it as we are. Even if our conversation partners are incredibly captivated by what we do, unless they are colleagues engaged in the same line of inquiry/practice at the same level of expertise, they need it broken down for them. In easily-digestible, bite-sized pieces. They can't know all that we know and so we need to meet them at their level. If we don't, we fall into the trap of droning, monologuing, and otherwise boring or confusing people who, through no fault of their own, have become our unwitting "audience." And how do they respond? Can you say, "Excuse me while I find the guacamole?"
So as you gather around the grill, at the picnic table by the pool, or wherever you relax this summer, don't be the bore at the party. If someone asks you what you're up to professionally, give them the Twitter version - short, sweet, somewhat intriguing. If you tantalize them (and if they are interested in the subject), they might ask follow-up questions. Or not. If they have no interest in your subject matter, at least you found out in a mercifully short time, and can change the subject--or go connect with someone else.
This advice applies once you return to work, too. It is a good rule of thumb to follow whenever you want to cultivate a relationship. As that old rascal P.T. Barnum said: "always leave 'em wanting more"!
