Driving home from visiting family in Ohio over July 4th, I happened to catch a reprise of a March interview with Dina Nayeri, whose latest book Who Gets Believed needs to be on my reading list. This particular book deals with people undergoing high-stakes questioning whose believability is questioned by authorities. The author concludes we cannot possibly judge the behavior of others we don’t know well: “People behave differently based on their fears, their traumas, their shame, the culture they're from.” The interview also touched on “cues” sent by neurodivergent people who don’t follow the dominant codes of social interaction, but who may actually be just as engaged or interested. This radio segment gave me much food for thought.
We are conditioned by popular culture and wishful thinking to think we can “read” people. Because wouldn’t life be grand if we could! But anyone who has ever been married, or is/has a parent, child, or friend, knows how hard it is to always accurately “read” even those nearest and dearest to you!
This myth that “reading your audience” is an essential skill for a successful speaker is one I hear time and again. I have to explain to just about every new client of mine why this is a fool’s errand. And why those who suggest you need to do this may not know much of anything about public speaking, but do watch a lot of crime drama.
I have blogged about this many times, going all the way back to March 2014 here, March 2015 here, and January 2018 here. I am not sure there is much more to say. Except that I'd be happy to share other speaking strategies with you that will actually help you meet your speaking goals.
Happy Summer!
