Holiday 2012

Ho! Ho! Ho!

'Tis the holiday season and everyone is busy. I know readers of this newsletter are no exception, so I will keep this short and to the point!

First of all, I want to thank you for reading "Outside the Speaker's Bubble" this year. I hope you have been able to use some of my speaking tips whenever you engage in communication. And I hope some of my insights and observations have given you food for thought. Please continue to give me feedback, pose questions, and ask me to unravel communications problems as we begin another year together. And of course, share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues and whoever else might find it useful!

Body language speaks!

I heard a fascinating story on NPR the other day, one that had me cheering and making a mental note to share it with you all. A study conducted by Hillel Aviezer, a psychology researcher at Hebrew University of Jerusalem, concluded that our body language conveys more information about our emotional and mental state than our facial expression does.

Now, if you have ever worked with me, you know I base my practice on the importance of using your body while you speak. Speaking is a physical activity that requires the body's engagement as much as dancing does. And this is a good thing, for many reasons. Not the least of which is that you cannot achieve energized, dynamic speech without a full breath-body-mind connection. And you cannot convince your listeners that you are fully engaged with them without this connection, either.

If you need more convincing, there is an excellent TED talk by social psychologist Amy Cuddy that demonstrates how body language can undercut or elevate our own feelings of confidence.

So if you think you can "put on a happy face" and communicate something from the neck up while you slouch, sit tensely with your arms crossed, or sway to and fro like an unstable Christmas tree, you're wrong. And now we have the science to prove it

Tips you can use!

Make the most of your parties
Be sure you have a snappy introductory speech to pull out of your back pocket at every social event. Networking opportunities abound at holiday parties.

Stretch when you travel
Whether you're in the car or on a plane, you need to get up and move every 90 minutes. Take a break at a highway rest stop or do some stretches in the airport restroom. Traveling is easier when your body is relaxed and happy.

Stay in the moment
During the holiday season, our thoughts can get ahead of our actions more than they usually do. Breathe, focus, slow down, and be mindful of what you're doing. Open yourself to unexpected delights of the season!

November 2012

Just back from Beijing

You may have noticed that this month's newsletter is later than usual. There are a couple of reasons:
1) I am sure your e-mail in-boxes were already overflowing with last-minute campaign messages and pre-holiday alerts.
2) I was in China, where you cannot access Google, Facebook, the New York Times, or many other "western" media outlets. So it was easy to disconnect, unplug, and enjoy the experience of a completely different culture. Needless to say, this was not conducive to newsletter-writing.

In the spirit of better late than never, here is a brief version of my newly renamed monthly: "Outside the Speaker's Bubble." I thought I would share some observations on the act of listening. Listening is fundamental to every speech situation. It is especially important in those smaller interpersonal interactions you might be tempted to categorize as  "just talking" and not "speaking." Interviews,  for example, and client meetings.

What not to do

In China, we were watching televised coverage of the 18th Communist Party Congress . It was fascinating, following so closely on the heels of our own Presidential election. One particular interview segment on English language CCTV stood out. It looked like a typical interview show, two well-dressed, well-coiffed, well-lit men having a conversation. The CCTV interviewer was questioning a representative from the European Union. Apparently the questions had been scripted to elicit very specific answers. The EU representative was respectful but firm in his responses, which were not the ones desired. The interviewer must have been told by his producer to badger his "guest" into the correct statement, because that is what he tried to do. It was painfully clear to anyone listening that such a statement would not - ever - be forthcoming.

The interview failed spectacularly. No listening was occurring, so no real conversation could take place. Because you can't control the message of someone you can't control. And so the guest was abruptly dismissed even as he was mid-sentence, on-camera!

Comedic fodder

If this blatant censorship had not been so startling to witness, it would have been funny! It was obvious: "We don't like the answer so we'll pretend it doesn't exist." Now, most of us will never find ourselves in such an extreme situation. But we do run into its cousin: "I don't really care what you are saying so I will go to my mental happy place."

Last Thursday night's comedy line-up on NBC provided two excellent examples of how active non-listening is a non-starter. The episodes of The Office and 30 Rock utilized Dwight's and Jenna's disengaged conversational engagement to great comic effect. And comedy can be instructive. So watch, laugh . . . and check yourself next time you feel a case of Dwight-Jennitis coming on.

Tips you can use!

Write it down
Keep a list of talking points  in each project folder. That way you always know what to say when someone asks you to "bring them up to speed."

Avoid mirrors
Don't check yourself in the mirror just before you step onstage/walk to the podium. Make sure your look is "set" well before the moment-before.

Keep track of the time
Make sure you craft your speech to fit in under the time allotted. And stick to your plan. Time flies when you're  speaking. And no one likes a speaker who goes on too long!  

October, 2012

Back from a creative break

As regular readers of this newsletter may recall, I took a bit of a hiatus from my Communications Conditioning practice this summer. I spent much of August and all of September directing and producing my play, Becoming Calvin. It was good to stretch those artistic muscles again, and to develop new managerial ones! The production went very well, and I am currently taking the next steps, both for future production of this play and for writing the next one in the cycle.

So, as we march closer to the election, I realize I have not been as heavily invested in following the campaigns as in years past. Here in the swing state of Virginia we have been inundated by ads, so I fear I may have become that "tuned-out" voter pollsters say are becoming more numerous each cycle.

But not wholly unaware

And yet, I have found this to be an instructive campaign. Even someone who had been whiling away the time on a secluded beach could not have missed this summer's major communications gaffes. And they have been appalling. As I tell my clients, no one in a leadership position can EVER assume any speech, Q & A, interview, or photo op is "off the record." To see people campaigning for office at the highest level explaining away damaging remarks as "off the cuff" and "not for public consumption" floors me! I am not saying as a speaker you should treat your listeners as potential spies or enemies, though I have worked with people who do this. This is not a good idea: you can end up seeming overly defensive, thus alienating potential allies. But you always need to be aware that what you say will be heard by people who cannot read your mind. If you are not clear, they may, after the fact, take your words out of context. Don't blame your audience if you have not contextualized your message well enough. If you are muddled in your messaging, it is highly likely they will not understand what you mean.

Try this easy fix

Often speakers get in trouble when they assume every single listener shares their point of view, and so they "shorthand" their message into something that might sound zippy, but is, in fact, over-simplified and misleading. This is why it is always important to get someone else who has a slightly different perspective to listen to your speech or vet your talking points. Or, if that is impractical, ask yourself: If I were to step back and hear someone else saying this, would it make sense? If I were to try to refute this, would it be easy?

Of course such analysis takes time. This is another excellent reason to prepare in advance. The simple truth is: the higher the stakes and the larger the forum, the more important it is to prepare, prepare, prepare.

It's not rocket science -- though perhaps we should all exercise more scientific detachment as we scrutinize our speeches and interview answers. When we fall in love with the sound of our own voices, or become "wedded" to a catchy turn of phrase, we can readily fall into the trap of being misunderstood by anyone who is not us. Too big a risk to run, in my opinion.

Tips you can use!

Wake up your mouth
Tongue twisters are good for getting those sluggish muscles working, especially for an early morning meeting. "Toy boat," anyone?

Get some sleep
Being well-rested not only gives you more energy to be a better speaker, it gives you greater focus so you can be a better listener, as well.

Sing in the shower
Something we all (secretly) like to do that is actually good for us! Open up those resonators and make some sound. The echo chamber of the tile prevents you from over-singing and straining your voice - so enjoy!