Let's get physical!

My favorite personal fitness trainer, Leo Biette-Timmons
has tips for getting more movement into your life!

I recently watched the Oscar-winning movie CODA, which is a wonderful film. I highly recommend it: see it if you haven't.

At one point in the story (I'll try to avoid spoilers), the central character, Ruby, finds herself singing alone onstage, very much in the spotlight, under a fair amount of stress. She begins so badly that her accompanist bungles a chord so they can start again. Ruby takes a deep breath and tentatively begins. Soon, however, she is singing with her fingers, signing the lyrics to Both Sides Now. And she comes alive!

This underscores the theme, of course. Ruby is caught between a desire to pursue her dream of singing and the duty and devotion she feels to stay with her deaf family. But this action of signing her song illustrates a universal truth about communication. Relying solely on sound to communicate (words, lyrics) only delivers part of your message. In order to share its full value, you need to feel it in your body - to embody your message. Watching deaf actors sign in this movie really makes that point! They engage their whole physical selves, and even if we don't understand verbatim, we know what they are saying. When we add physical energy to our words, our message is stronger. And freer. Anyone who watches little kids perform in school or church choir knows that if you give them props (palm fronds to wave on Palm Sunday, for instance) they stop being shy and self-conscious. And they fully engage in the "now."

One of my clients recently had a lightbulb moment when he stood up during a radio interview. He found his energy flowed better, as did his speaking, Using your whole body— instead of feeling stuck in one spot, disconnected from your physical instrument — can make a world of difference not only in how you deliver your message, but in how it is received. If you embody your message, you automatically connect with your listeners and conversation partners.

So look alive! BE alive! Get your body into it!

Getting to the root of it all

One of the questions I am most frequently asked by clients and prospective clients is "How can I get my audience to really understand my message?" The answer: Preparation, Parts One and Two. Most people stop at Part One: choosing the words. But whether you've crafted paragraphs or bullet points, you're only halfway there!

The harder part is getting ready to deliver that prepared message. You must be able to commit to your words. Listeners can tell when you disengage, when you’re just saying what you wrote last week or this morning. So let me share a tip from my former life as an actor: You need to understand—and convey!—your subtext, the underlying meaning.

People who write their own material often skip this part, thinking of course they know what they are saying. But are they passing that meaning on to their listeners? Maybe. Maybe not. When you put your message into words, you basically assign mutually agreed upon symbols (words) to convey the underlying meaning (the thoughts, images—sometimes even feelings—at the root of that particular communication). When you go back and deliver these words in a speech event, if you don't recall/reimagine that root meaning, so many empty symbols will just fall from your mouth. You may have checked some sort of box, but you haven't made yourself understood.

Take time as you practice your speech (even your bullet points!) to make sure you are connecting with your audience by conveying the foundational meaning signified by your well-chosen words. Then they become more than "just words"; they'll grab listeners and keep them engaged.

A perennial favorite

Every month when I set out to write this blog, I try to address issues raised recently by clients. This past month I found myself repeating advice I have been giving since the start of my practice. Which should make me happy (at least from a business model standpoint!) knowing that there will always be a new crop of people who need this professional advice.

So I reached all the way back to November 2011 for this gem to share with you. It's even more relevant today, I think. In this New Normal of Zoom and virtual/live hybrid, there is a sense of disconnection. As a result, our speaking/presenting rhythm is disjointed--and often, faster.

My clients come to me for different reasons, but they express many of the same concerns. One I hear most often is, "I want to be able to think on my feet" or "I need to learn how to speak off the cuff." Clients are a bit dismayed when I tell them I have no magic wand to immediately make them extemporaneous geniuses.

I do have strategies that I share, which vary according to client and situation. But one general rule I tell everyone--slow down! The benefit of this is two-fold: it gives you time to think about what you are saying before you say it (which, we can all agree, is a prerequisite for sounding intelligent), and it helps you avoid those filler words which at best are a minor annoyance to the listener, and at worst make you seem disorganized and unfocussed.

Try slowing down today; what have you got to lose? Just a few "um"s, " you know"s, and (cringe) "like"s that you and your listener will not miss at all!

Plus ça change. . . !

When a speech is a turning point

Queen Elizabeth II, 1957
photo credit: BiblioArchives / LibraryArchives, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Since I often jump on bandwagons when they come around the block the second time, I am just now enjoying Season 2 of The Crown on Netflix. The other night I caught up with Episode 5 (airdate Dec. 8, 2017), and was amazed I had not heard about it before. Because that episode portrays a watershed moment for the Queen that leads to what today we'd call a "rebrand": transforming how she communicates with The People.

This episode depicts, apparently with quite a bit of accuracy, the occasion when the Queen's speaking style, as well as her speech content, were roundly criticized by a self-described "committed monarchist," Lord Altrincham. In August 1957, he wrote an article in National and English Review (a magazine he managed and edited) where he decried the Queen's speaking style as "priggish," "hollow," and “frankly 'a pain in the neck'." He also suggested that the Queen needed to replace her "tweedy," tone deaf speechwriters with people more in touch with her audience. So that words of encouragement meant for "the common people" wouldn't sound like dismissal and disparagement.

The Crown conjures a scene where Altrincham has a secret meeting with the Queen, advising her to modernize her image. As far as historians know, this meeting did not take place, but others did. The urgency of Altrincham's message reached the Queen. As a result, she curtailed some of the palace's dated, elitist practices, and added new, more egalitarian ones. In some circles Altrincham is credited with saving the British Monarchy. Whether he did or not is a debate for someone else's newsletter. But his critique of Queen Elizabeth's communications style, her old-fashioned, stiff, disconnected way of speaking, gave way to a more modern approach, one the Queen acknowledged herself, shortly after Season 2, Episode 5 of The Crown aired.

My takeaway? Don't be the Queen and wait for a really bad speech to be your wake-up call. Get out in front of the problem. If you're not connecting with your audience, change your content and delivery. Maybe change your perspective, too. Because you don't have her job security.

Go with the flow

Lately my clients and I have been focusing on the natural connection between the movement of their bodies when they speak and the tone and rhythm of their speech. When I point it out, they are usually unaware of this link, and somewhat surprised. But it makes perfect sense to me. I know that for each of us our instrument of communication is our whole self.

Maybe we've all been sitting and staring into computer cameras too long! At any rate, I am noticing that, in addition to overly relaxed speaking verging on vocal fry that I noted last month, their gestures these days are almost exactly mirroring their delivery. For example, when my speakers make sharp gestures for emphasis, like bringing their hands together in a clap, or slicing the air with karate chops, they sound disjointed and mechanical. So even if they are sharing their best story, or leading us through a fascinating process, it is next to impossible for us to follow them. They have no flow.

Is their bodily engagement reflecting--or initiating--the percussive vocal rhythm I hear? I will leave that to the researchers. But what I have observed is that if hands are chopping and slicing, the message is halting and difficult to parse. There is too much emphasis on too many words for the listener to tease out any sense. Or the tone is too aggressive, assaulting the ears. And that's not good!

So I've started asking these clients to incorporate large, rounded, open-handed gestures as part of their preparation. It really smooths out the mountains and valleys of tone, and helps them convey complete thoughts to their listeners. It seems odd to them at first, but after a while these "rehearsal gestures" are dropped. And what replaces them? Gestures and body language that come from a flowing, focused, integrated energy. A tone that supports the message. And invites the audience in.

Seeing with my ears

Colossal statue of Claudius seated and depicted in the act of speaking
Naples National Archaeological Museum, photo by Carole Radotto

My clients come to me for a variety of reasons: big presentations coming up; interviews; sermons. But I also have clients who want to become more effective in internal meetings--better able to make their point across the conference room table.

Many of these clients send me recordings of their meetings to review and give feedback. Often these are audio only, so I can't see what they are doing. But I can ALWAYS hear when they are losing focus, becoming a little too relaxed on their business calls. When they aren't presenting with presence.

You might think that sitting at home, Zooming into a call with colleagues isn't an occasion that calls for your public speaking presence but you'd be wrong. What I hear from my clients is often an unsupported, flat tone that all frequently travels back in their throats and results in the dread "gravelly voice" or "vocal fry." Definitely not a professional sound--and certainly not one that signals confidence or elicits respect. Because unless you have amazing technique, you have not developed the muscles to support your sound when you deviate from a "sitting up straight" posture. Some of my clients intuit this and stand while speaking as much as possible.

Here's what's even more surprising: when my clients are speaking in this "relaxed" way, their language becomes cluttered with filler words. Not only that, I hear their thoughts becoming jumbled, their arguments less clear. Often I need to rewind the tape to try to sort out what point they are making. I can actually pinpoint the moment when they lose their thread; it is often signaled by that flattened or gravelly tone, which comes from lack of breath support. In short, physical presence and clarity of communication go together.

Long story short: if you're speaking and find you are getting too much into the weeds, or that your train of thought jumps the track, take a breath, sit up straight, and reclaim your presence. Your listeners will get back on board. Clear communication will be resumed.

And I'll breath a sigh of relief!

Comic confusion

"Abbott & Costello Doing Who's On First" by slgckgc is licensed under under CC BY 2.0

Recently I had the chance to experience a live rendition of the evergreen comic masterpiece, "Who's On First?" by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. I had forgotten how restorative it is to share in collective laughter! And while it's not the same as being in a roomful of friends, if you need a good laugh right now, head over to YouTube and watch this work of genius. I'll wait. . .

I am certain there have been many pages written and much ink spilled parsing precisely why Abbott & Costello's brand of comedy works so exceptionally well here. But I'd like to offer that it hits a little too close to home by reflecting much of our own miscommunication. We don't want to admit that, of course: we would never be as dense as Lou. And if we were in Bud's place, talking to someone that confused, surely we would try to figure out why.

But don't we find ourselves having this type of conversation, over and over? Where we find out, after the fact, that our conversation partners have been using terms in markedly different ways than we have? Sometime hilarity ensues, but usually we end up with a mess on our hands.

To assume that you are always speaking the same language, using words in the same way as those around you is, in fact. . . absurd--as anyone who has sat through a jargon-filled meeting can attest. Bud and Lou could have cut to the chase if one of them had just stopped and asked, "When you say "who," are you asking a question? " and "How are you using 'what' here?" Confusion is possible even with commonly used words and phrases. There can be many variations that stem from occupational, regional, generational, and a whole host of differences.

So next time you feel "silly" seeking clarification, ask yourself: am I doing a comedy routine or do I really want to connect?

Slow down if you can't stop

One of the great things about technology is that it enables us to work from anywhere, anytime. But this easy connectivity can feed our urge to instantly reply to/comment on any email, text, tweet, etc., as soon as it is posted. You have likely been the recipient of such hasty or thoughtless communication. And yet, much as we know others jump too fast on e-communications. we can't seem to train ourselves not to do it. We think we are exceptional, "quick thinkers". Or we are being efficient. And while I understand that, in work-related communications, speedy replies are often asked of us, I also know that cleaning up the mess we create through this kind of insta-response takes more time than crafting a well thought-out reply.

I am not pointing out anything new. But this problem came up frequently with my clients over the summer, especially as we've relied more and more on remote work and non-verbal communication. And I was wondering how I could help my readers. Could I give you a tool to embed this fact in your subconsciousness, so you reflexively alter your behavior and save yourself some grief?

I thought about this for a millisecond and landed on the answer: this catchy tune from the Broadway show Mean Girls. While this song is specifically about teens' indiscriminate use of texts and social media, it can also apply to anyone who uses e-communication as a professional relationship-building tool or as a way to get info out quickly. And I promise, it will become that annoying earworm that sticks around. I hope you'll hear Damian urging: "Honestly, everyone stop!" the next time you're tempted to send before you think.

Playing during lockdown

A Very Present Presence Zoom World Premiere featuring Jennifer Pagnard, Diane Cooper-Gould (top: L, R), Erin Denman, Nicholas-Tyler Corbin (bottom: L, R).

As we emerge from our COVID caves, and the world opens up again, I hope we remember not only what we lost, but also what we gained during this trying time.

I had a very unusual but gratifying artistic experience: a full production by Pipeline Playwrights of my magical ghost story play, A Very Present Presence, on Zoom! Thanks to all of you who tuned in for this World Premiere. It was fascinating to watch the process of "staging" a play on this platform. My director Catherine Tripp became our Chief Invention Officer by virtue of inventing a new visual language for putting my story onstage on the screen.

My actors had to re-invent, since they were forbidden from doing what they naturally do--look into the camera. (Ironic, considering all the times I have said to clients as they polish up their Zoom skills: "if actors can learn to look into the camera, you can too!") And if that didn't pose enough of a challenge, they couldn't look at each other on their screens either. So they put post-it notes all over their walls, computers, furniture to remind them where to look. They recreated the world of the play while making no eye contact whatsoever! Quite an unusual feat--and one they carried off with great aplomb. Though they found it difficult, they all commented on how much their listening skills deepened during this process. I will definitely ponder that insight. And incorporate it into my coaching practice.

I don't know if/when we'lI need this hard-won knowledge in the future. But I do know that the whole experience expanded my view of what theatre can be and what it can do. And that the very human urge to keep telling stories can surmount just about any obstacle.

Some people can't wait to "get back to normal." But we all discovered resourcefulness and resilience over the past 15 months. That is powerful. Hopefully we can use these lessons learned to make sure the Now and the Future offer more and better possibilities than the Before.

Melodious messages

When people begin working with me, I urge them to listen carefully to other speakers. Take mental notes of who does what well, and learn from the mistakes of others. A couple of clients have lately told me that their industry norm seems to be tedious speaking. Too many of their colleagues are monotonous in rhythm and pacing, and deliver their messages in a monotone. Was this a "thing," they wondered? Some kind of secret best practice that I wasn't sharing? I answered with questions of my own: how attentively do you listen to these speakers? Do you observe other colleagues drifting off, yawning, checking their phones? Was there a lot of follow-up to deliver information you should have heard in the speech?

Though industry standards vary, none that I know of recommend their speakers put people to sleep. "Then why do so many of my colleagues sound so boring?" clients ask. The simple answer is that many professions place little importance on the development on "soft skills." Head offices say effective communication is a "core competency," but the truth is they offer minimal training in it. They must be operating under the assumption that good speakers are born, not made.

Of course you can learn to be a better speaker! You can train your voice to have more vocal variety: expand your tonal speaking range, pick up your pace, vary your rhythm. Speaking is a physical activity, and those of us who coach speakers actually have exercises (physical and vocal, not just mental!) to help you do all these things. You won't become the next Pavarotti (or María Bayo, above), but you'll get more music in your message. And if you have some singing, speaking-on-pitch, or other exercises for vocal variety you haven't used in a while, dust them off. In a world full of flabby, boring speakers, you can be the change

Stay on the path

Recently, while watching a speaker on Zoom, I found myself. . . .wandering. He wasn't boring, exactly -- he had plenty of enthusiasm, was energized about his message, used lots of gestures, threw in a few topical stories. All characteristics of an engaging speaker. So why wasn't I engaged? I wasn't tired, or hungry, or particularly preoccupied with a problem at hand.

After he finished, I reflected on what he had said. I had the gist of the main thought, but try as I might, I could not remember his supporting points. Were there three? Five? I recalled snapshots, bits of story and thought strung together, but not in any order that I could follow. And so I couldn't remember how he reached his conclusion. Which made me doubt that conclusion. Not to say I doubted his credibility - because he is an expert, well respected in his field. But as far as this particular message was concerned, I was not "sold." 

I offer this a reminder that -- especially in these days of Zoom fatigue -- we need to give our listeners a clear roadmap if we expect them to follow us. That's the best way they can reach our conclusion with us. Many people shy away from the old "here's what I am going to tell you; here I am telling you (points 1, 2, 3); now I have told you" formula because they think it dry and unimaginative. But your audience is not filled with mind readers. So if you're going to eschew this way of mapping your speech out for them, you need to double down on other auditory signposts: "first," ''second," 'that brings us back to," etc.

It's your job to keep them following you on the trail of your story. Don't take detours or meander, no matter how pleasant that scenic overlook just off the path may be. Unless you want to lose your audience along the way!

Spring has sprung!

I just returned for a walk around my Brooklyn neighborhood and it was entirely rejuvenating! The sun was out, coffeeshops that had closed have reopened, previously vacant storefronts were bustling. NYC slogged through a long, hard winter, but now it's bursting with new life!

There are still some vestiges of the dark days of the past year, though: signs in windows and trees festooned with messages of thanks to our first responders. I hope we never forget how they helped us through those first months. I said my own prayer of thanks for them and their steadfastness in the face of so much horror.

But, as often happens on a walk, my mind free-associated, and I thought of a conversation I had recently with a client about his business communication style. He knew that being reactive is not a good way to manage, so he was trying to be more proactive in all his speaking and writing. But that still wasn't working for him. I read some sample correspondence, and steered him toward a better approach.

Take the idea of active away altogether, I said. Don't be re- or pro-. To clarify or convey information, or answer questions, the best approach is to be responsive. (This is where my mind went after thinking of first responders, you see.) Before you show your vast array of knowledge, before you "take charge" of the conversation, you need to make sure you are responding to what you're being asked, what the situation is, who's asking, what they already know, etc.

Because it doesn't matter if it's your direct report, your boss, or your client. They can't read your mind. So you need to say the parts you instinctively rush over in your eagerness to give the right answer.

Connect the dots. Let them in on your thought process. They'll follow your logic and understand your answer better. You may even cut down on the confusion that leads to that endless loop of follow-up question-clarification-further question-and-so forth-and-so on. . . .

That'll give you more time to go enjoy the beginning of a beautiful season!

Avoid that messy clean-up

January was full of events, some of them quite messy. It took a lot of work just to get through the month! But we're here, in February. And we've turned a page. We can even see a glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel. 

But we've got this month and a few more to get through before we fully exit that tunnel. At our house, we're spending that time finally watching all of Schitt's Creek. Just in time for their Golden Globe nominations! The show provides a terrific bit of escapism. The writing is sharp, the directing is clever, and the acting is amazing. As a fan of Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy from their early days playing with other brilliant comedians on SCTV, it is a treat to see their talents so gloriously displayed.

It's comfort viewing, so I usually just give myself over to the world of Schitt's Creek. But last night (in Season 6), my communications coaching reality intruded. I don't think I'm giving anything away to disclose that by Season 6 Moira Rose finds herself in the spotlight once again. She is doing a remote interview from her room at the Rosebud Motel, while her daughter Alexis (now her publicist) desperately tries to keep Moira on message with giant cue cards. Moira's an actor, so you would think she'd know how important it is to stick to the script. But Moira has a very healthy ego. So she "riffs" a bit, expanding upon the agreed-upon text. It is very funny, and perfectly in character.

But you're not Moira Rose. So don't do this. It's tempting, when you have an audience hanging on your every word, to extemporize and go off on whatever tangents you fancy. And it's not just interviews. I advise clients to avoid this trap in every meeting by having talking points and staying on message. Sticking to the script isn't being "canned" or "stiff." It's being prepared. Sure, it takes a bit of time to think about what you want to say before you say it. But spending that time to prepare will help you help yourself. Think of all the time you'll save after the fact, when you don't have do a "clean-up in aisle five." Or anywhere else! 

No need to wrap

I'm taking a minute away wrapping, shipping, baking, decorating, and generally catching up on my seasonal errands to wish you all a festive Holiday Season! I know this is for most of us the weirdest December in memory, but we're going to get through it. And then, as a recognition of our patience and resilience, we win the prize: A New Year! Goodbye to 2020 and all its tragedy and disappointment.

In the spirit of the season, I'm giving a gift to you, my faithful readers. As you know I was Zooming before Zoom was cool, and have been coaching speakers and offering webinars on communicating with professionalism and presence over Zoom. And I'd like to give you this One Foolproof Tip for making sure your message is heard, even by audiences tempted by WFH distractions. Here it is: Look at the camera!

I know I've said this before, but this is the single biggest thing you can do to grab your listener's attention. It's not necessarily easy to retrain yourself to look at the camera rather than people's faces when you talk to them. But think about it: when you look at them to see their reaction, they aren't really seeing you if they can't see your eyes. You are putting yourself, your needs (to "read" them---which is even more impossible than usual on a virtual platform!), above their need to see you! So when you're in a meeting and feel the urge to look at your colleagues when you make your point, remember: you have a 100% better chance of connecting with them if you stifle that urge and focus on the camera.

Zoom meetings and presentations won't be going away anytime soon. Those who have mastered this medium are already reaping rewards. I could point you to articles and research that reinforce this, but you already know it's true. My gift, then, is really more of a challenge: Just do It!

And have as Merry-as-Possible a Holiday!

Giving thanks

In case you've had difficulty keeping track of the passage of time this year, you're not alone. So let me remind you: The Holiday Season is upon us! This year it will be ... different. Traditional gatherings will take place virtually. Carols will be silenced, or sung as shower solos. The hubbub of activity will slow to a trickle. And yet, like many of you, I feel there are still things to be thankful for. Here's my shortlist:

• Vaccines that are on their way.

• The health of friends and family. And the actions of all those here in NYC and elsewhere who have valiantly fought the spread, like the brave Germans in this PSA.

• Zoom Theatre with Pipeline Playwrights. We've learned how to use this new platform to share our creative work online. We've been able to stay in touch with our long-time supporters and connect with new, faraway fans.

• Rockefeller the owl. This little guy emerged unscathed from the disappointingly droopy spruce at Rockefeller Center. He's a perfect reminder that surprises happen when you least expect them.

• Clients who embrace the New Normal. I tip my hat to those who've pivoted to virtual annual meetings, interviews, and more, using Zoom, Teams, or Meet as tools for meaningful communication. They've jumped in with both feet and aren't waiting till we can get back to "the way it was before."

And I am very thankful for you, faithful reader, for keeping in touch by sharing your success stories (and sending me new clients). Wishing you a happy--if quiet--Thanksgiving, a time for reflection, rest, and rejuvenation.

Getting out and turning out

I love fall! The crispness in the air, the crunch of leaves underfoot, the opening of the theatre season! This year I've had to modify my expectations. Instead of doing a family Broadway evening, we saw the sights of Manhattan by night on a cruise with Classic Harbor Line. It was relaxing, enlightening, and a bit thrilling to be doing something so out of our daily routine. When we can back out in the world, I am sure many of us will value the events we attend and excursions we take more highly. 

One excursion I hope we will all take (if we haven't already) is the short trip to the voting booth. Or the postbox, drop box, or local election office. There are many variations this year for getting your ballot to where it needs to go. It can be confusing! Fortunately, FiveThirtyEight.com has aggregated all the latest info here.

Voting is one of the most important things we can do as citizens, but our highest turnout for presidential elections in the past fifty years was just over 58%, in 2008. So we all need to pitch in and help family and community members make a plan to vote and act on it. If you need more info, check out TAG10WomenVote .

I wrote my play It's My Party! about the passage of the19th Amendment, largely because that story is so unknown. Every time it's performed or read, audience and cast alike tell me that they learned so much about American women's decades-long struggle to win the vote. On one hand I find it irritating-bordering-on-infuriating that this is all news to them! But I have seen enough U.S. History textbooks to know how cursorily the subject is covered - if at all! 

Since I have always believed that hearts and minds can be opened through experiencing art more effectively than through other ways of learning, it was with great delight that I read this in the Columbus and Starkville, Mississippi Dispatch last week:

"[Robyn] Medeiros . . . said being a cast member of It's My Party! motivated her to register to vote in this year's election. 'When I turned 18, I was so overwhelmed by the transition to college life that I didn't want to add another thing to my plate. I was feeling similarly this year. But after learning about what Alice [Paul] and Lucy [Burns] went through to achieve this right, I couldn't pass it up. There's definitely a power to it, to have a say in how government should be run.' "

So run, walk, bike, drive, hop; get your ballot in the ballot box however you can. To make sure your vote is counted. Because short-distance trips are sometimes the most rewarding.

Bringing in the harvest

The scene at the farmer's market this past Saturday was one of abundance: so much late summer produce available. Perfectly, mouth-wateringly ripe. We've already begun certain food rituals of the season here at my house: making our first ratatouille; grilling eggplant for delicious smoky eggplant spread; freezing the first few batches of pesto from my garden. Good thing I wasn't planning on canning anything this year!

The market is laid out differently now, with more space in between stalls, and there are lines at all the entry points. But the only indication from a produce perspective that this is a fall unlike any other is the dearth of jack-o-lantern pumpkins. One farmer said they weren't bringing them to the City because they doubted there would be much demand for them, since so many seasonal gatherings have been cancelled. But our Governor, who has been pretty strict with all things COVID, said he would not ban trick-or-treating. So maybe we'll see those carving pumpkins there next week.

And even in this unusual fall, I still feel -- when the chill is in the air and the apples are especially crisp --- the urge to think about what I'm harvesting from spring-planted seeds.

• I am harvesting creativity: I started writing my newest play, Saltwater Farm, in January, but the bulk of the writing came between April and August. My need to escape pandemic daily reality combined with extra found time, and that combination allowed me to create a world in another time and another place. My talented cast read the play in two parts. If you missed them, you can check them out on YouTube here (Act One) and here (Act Two).

• I am harvesting consulting opportunities. As many annual conferences and meetings are being reimagined online, I am training speakers to deliver engaging messages and connect more with virtual audiences. I enjoy it, and always have time to help more people. Email me if you'd like to talk about how I can work with you or your organization.

• I am harvesting hope. This pandemic won't last forever, but it will be a slog to get even close to the lives we led Before. Every step of that journey will be worth it if we take that time to begin dismantling the inequities this period has so starkly revealed. In this blog back in June, I mentioned some non-fiction works that helped give me perspective on these issues. Here are two novels that have given me further illumination (and enjoyment!) during this time: the '90's novel Daughters by Paule Marshall and the recent Booker Prize-winner Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo,

• I am harvesting patience. I have to say, I'm not doing too well with this one. But every day offers new chances for improvement.

What are you harvesting?
 

Relaxing in topsy turvy time

The lakeside photo above is from an idyllic week my husband and I spent at a quiet, remote lake in Maine, just the balm we needed to salve our weary souls. After almost five months of sequestration here in NYC (the first two months in a harrowing lockdown), we needed this break. Being away from the home that has become our family workplace (as well as our gym, our restaurant, our movie theatre, our concert hall), gave me time to reflect on what we have lost and what we have gained living with this pandemic.

I won't enumerate the losses. As a speaking coach whose other line of work is live theatre, and whose favorite non-professional gig is choral singing, I have felt the loss keenly.

But what have we gained? More than I would have predicted at the outset. My production company, Pipeline Playwrights, pivoted from our usual spring reading series of new works to a Zoom series of work-in-progress excerpts. This started in April, and was well received by our regular supporters. Even better - we're now able to share our stories with friends and family who otherwise wouldn't have been able to see our work. So we're going to keep it up, and expand on this model with my upcoming reading of Saltwater Farm. For more information on how you can tune in to experience this Zoom reading of my newest play, check out the "In other news" section in my newsletter.

While I was in Maine I visited the area and the homes that provided some inspiration for that play. Here's a photo of one of my favorites.

As I wrote last month, I've also been doing Zoom webinars, coaching doctors (so far, but hope to reach out to other professions). I've been helping them learn strategies for giving effective video presentations for upcoming conferences and meetings, since they won't be traveling anytime soon. I hope to gain momentum with this specific type of coaching. If you belong to an association whose annual meeting is being moved online, I'd welcome the chance to connect with your leadership and event planners. 

On days when the losses outweigh the gains, I find it useful to remember that upheaval and uncertainly have been part of the human condition for quite some time. After all, it was Heraclitus of Ephesus who said, around 500 BCE, "all things, constantly, are in flux and are, in that regard, the same."

New skills for a new world

This is me at work: in front of my handy Shoji screen (an early work-from-home purchase) flanked by my trusty fern, Vern, plugged in to my computer on a Zoom call. I meet with clients to explore how they can turn their virtual communications for meetings, conferences, interviews, etc., into dynamic, memorable interactions. Mastering the technology of your specific platform is a good idea. So is getting all your production elements right: set, lights, sound, costume. 

But the most important thing to consider is how you deliver your message. And I'm not talking about turning off your video and letting your slides do the talking. You need to be every bit as present in a virtual meeting as you would be IRL--maybe even more so--to combat Zoom fatigue. Since we're not sharing and exchanging energy with the other people in the room it's easy to burn out. Even worse, when it's your turn to speak or present, you feel like you're sending your message out into a void, wondering if anyone will really hear it. This is especially true on webinars, when you don't see the audience. I've been doing a lot of these, presenting talks on being a dynamic presenter. So you can be sure I feel the pressure to be engaging every second I am on!

This is where my acting comes in handy. Here's the bottom line: in order to connect with people, not talk at them, you need to look into the camera. Every time you speak. As much as possible. You need to do you homework so you have a clear idea of who you're talking to. If you don't know the exact people you'll be addressing, use your imagination, and put a friend who has a similar professional profile or management style on the other end of that camera. If you personalize your audience this way, you'll be able to connect. To really send your knowledge, expertise, and commitment to your listeners. They'll hear what you're saying, and enjoy the meeting as well. 

A victory in the daily battle against Work From Home fatigue!

A change of heart

Here in Brooklyn we've had a couple of weeks of mostly peaceful (if noisy) protests that often ended in violence erupting shortly after curfew as police confronted anyone on the streets, many trying to get home. If you think the reports of police brutality here are exaggerated, I can assure you they are not.

The scope of these protests has inspired a surge of support, and while some organizational messaging of  "we must do better" is no more than performative activism, I have hope that if enough people use this moment to reflect, educate themselves and -- above all -- listen, institutional and policy changes will occur. But that will only happen when individuals have a change of heart, rise up, and say "enough!"

My hope springs from seeing evidence that change had already started. I witnessed it in late February as I Zoomed to rehearsals for It's My Party! at Bellarmine University. The student actors were grappling with the idea that white suffrage leaders in my play blatantly ignored the important role played by their black sisters. But I understood. At first I had wanted to downplay this part of the story, too, arguing it would take away from the larger arc of the crusade for women's equality. But some very wise colleagues strongly urged me to include the characters' racism in my script. And, since our country's racial division became clearer and clearer over the months I was revising, I wrote a new draft including Ida B. Wells-Barnett.

In my play Ida, a powerful voice for suffrage, confronts the leaders of the majority-white suffrage organizations. They tell her, quite reasonably (they think), that overt inclusion of black suffragists would inflame Southern Democrats, and ensure the suffrage bill's failure. Ida leaves, angrily denouncing them and their Association. She returns at the end, to bask in their shared victory, but also to deliver a warning: the fight for equality won't truly be over until all women are equal.

The actors said they were having a hard time playing characters who were lauded for accomplishing something as major as winning the vote for women, yet whose racism was so blatant. I said a few pithy things about multi-dimensional characters and the acting challenges they present. But I also asked if those historical figures were really so much more racist than people are today. My question seemed to shock them, but I understand after that particular rehearsal there were many difficult conversations between the white actors and the women of color in the cast, and in their larger college community.

That production, It's My Party!'s university premier, was cancelled due to COVID. So that message never reached a larger audience. But those in the rehearsal room began the hard work of looking at themselves, their presumptions and privileges, and doing what Ibram X. Kendi describes in his book How to be an Anti-Racist.

I hope this time of national upheaval has unlocked something in each of us, so that we can continue to grow in our understanding. I won't give you a lengthy list of resources because they seem to be everywhere, except to recommend the amazing 1619 Project, edited by Nikole Hannah-Jones, "The Case for Reparations" by Ta-nehisi Coates (which the Atlantic has made available in this PDF). and the Kendi book cited above. 

And while you are reading, don't forget to breathe...